


snowflakes

by onlyeverthus



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyeverthus/pseuds/onlyeverthus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's always had notions and ideas about love and what it should be like. And then Tina Cohen-Chang throws a wrench into her carefully thought out plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	snowflakes

Ever since she was a little girl, Quinn Fabray has had her future planned out in her head: she'd marry a nice boy, maybe her high school sweetheart, get a good, respectable job, live in a nice, respectable house, and have two, maybe three, kids.

And then high school happened. None of her 'sweethearts' turned out to be all that sweet, and one mistake almost ruined everything.

She had to climb, and fight, and claw her way back to the surface, and then she ran away to Connecticut to begin a new life.

Her assumptions about love and romance are still there, but she's allowed herself leniency, to test the waters and maybe make some exceptions here and there.

The only catch is that all of her fantasies about love and her future have involved boys.

Not that she's ever had anything against homosexuality, despite her upbringing. Love is love, and that's all that matters, but for herself, she's only ever seen herself with the opposite sex.

She's always had notions and ideas about love and what it should be like.

And then Tina Cohen-Chang throws a wrench into her carefully thought out plans.

They were friends in high school, and spent time together, but were never particularly close. They stayed in touch after Quinn graduated, though, exchanging emails and hanging out when Quinn came back to visit Lima, and steadily grew closer.

Quinn goes home over spring break, and Tina tells her that she and Mike broke up. She shrugs at Quinn's surprise, saying it was a mutual decision, and maybe they'll meet up again in the future.

When the younger girl shows up at Yale at the beginning of Quinn's sophomore year, Quinn's surprised, but happy to see her; despite having made plenty of new friends in New Haven, there's something about having someone who's so familiar that fills Quinn with a sense of contentment.

 

They spend more time together than they ever have before, attending the two classes they share, eating meals, going out at night with their other friends, sometimes even taking day trips into New York City.

More than one night finds both of them passed out in bed together in whichever dorm they happen to be pulling an all night study session, and soon it becomes the rule, rather than the exception, even when they're just talking, books pushed aside and forgotten.

The nights when Quinn is alone, she never seems to sleep as well, and she tries to convince herself that it's just because she's gotten used to having someone else in the bed with her.

 

 

They fly back to Lima together for Thanksgiving, and Quinn realizes it's the most time they've spent apart since the semester started.

The first time they see each other again, the Saturday after Thanksgiving to have lunch, Quinn is almost overjoyed to see Tina, but again she tells herself it's just because she's just glad to see somebody other than her family.

They spend all day together, and don't go to their respective homes until much later that night, reluctantly saying goodbye when Quinn drops Tina off.

Quinn's in bed a couple of hours later, smiling as she thinks back over the day.

A soft laugh slips from her when she remembers Tina dripping ice cream down her chin, remembers how the other girl squealed, and remembers running to get some extra napkins, unable to keep from laughing.

She thinks about the look on Tina's face, the way she poked her bottom lip out in a pout, and then suddenly, from out of nowhere, she wonders what might have happened if she'd kissed her.

Her smile fades, her stomach twisting a little, and the realization hits her full force.

_I'm in love with Tina._

All of those nights missing her when they slept in their own beds, wanting to spend all of her time with her, being cranky the past few days because they were apart; she'd convinced herself that it was just because she and Tina had become best friends so quickly, but now she knows the truth.

Thoughts of kissing Tina come to her so easily, now that she lets herself think about it, and it doesn't take much for her mind to drift to what it might be like if Tina was her girlfriend, biting her lip as she briefly imagines doing much more than kissing.

She takes a breath, her brow knitting in confusion. She's never been attracted to another girl before, but she realizes that everything she feels about Tina is what she felt at first about Finn, and Puck, and Sam, and Matt, who she dated for several months last semester, only this time it seems so much stronger.

Tears well in her eyes the longer she thinks about it, and she curls into a tighter ball, her fingers gripping the edge of her pillow.

She's not afraid of what her family might think if she dates a girl; she's well past caring what they think about what she does.

No, she's afraid that Tina won't love her back.

 

 

Their flight back to New Haven is late the next morning, and Quinn finds it hard to talk to or even look at Tina.

When Tina asks what's wrong, Quinn just flashes a tight smile and gives a quick shake of her head.

"Didn't sleep well last night, that's all."

It's not a lie, and it gives her an excuse to go straight to her room when they get back to campus, saying she's going to take a nap.

She doesn't see the confused, and slightly hurt, look on Tina's face.

 

 

The following Saturday night, they're in Tina's room, studying for their psychology final.

Quinn hadn't wanted to come, having avoided Tina all week, but Tina had begged her, saying she was having trouble understanding some of the concepts.

"So, wait," Tina says, leaning across Quinn to stare at her notes, "what all differentiates Jung from Freud again?"

Quinn closes her eyes a moment, trying not to focus on the softness of Tina's skin as their arms brush together, or how good her hair smells, the smell of jasmine that seems to forever permeate every aspect of Quinn's life these days.

Tina sits up, pulling Quinn from her thoughts, and frowns. "Quinn?"

Quinn takes a breath, and then stands suddenly, shaking her head as she pulls her coat on.

"I can't do this," she mutters, shoving her books into her bag.

"Do what?" Tina asks, sitting up, her expression confused. "What's wrong? Quinn –"

Quinn feels her throat beginning to tighten, the sting of tears in her eyes, and Tina's expression becomes alarmed as she says her name again.

"I – I can't –"

She shakes her head again, raising a hand to her mouth as she finally lifts her gaze to Tina's face, and her heart feels like it may burst out of her chest.

"I – I love you."

Tina's eyes widen, her mouth falling open slightly, and Quinn sniffles, knowing there's no way she can brace herself for the inevitable rejection.

"I love you, Tina," she says again. "I'm sorry, I – I never meant for this to happen. I never thought it could. I don't even think I like girls, really, I just think – it's just you."

She looks away, pressing her lips together, desperately trying to quell the sob that's threatening to escape, and then drops her gaze to the floor.

"I know you don't feel the same," she murmurs, "and that's fine. I just – I'm sorry."

She grabs her bag from the bed and slings the strap over her shoulder, hurrying from the room before Tina can speak.

She makes it outside, but nearly trips down the stairs, and hurries to sink onto the bench across from the building, trying to catch her breath.

Every part of her hurts, and she has no idea how to deal with what she's feeling; there isn't any precedence in her life for something like this.

She looks up when she hears the door to the dorm open, and a moment later Tina comes into view, her eyes locked on Quinn as she rushes down the steps.

A quiet sob slips from Quinn at the sight of her, and she pushes to stand.

"Quinn, wait!" Tina reaches Quinn's side and grabs her arm, keeping her from walking away. "Please, wait –"

Quinn shakes her head, unable to look at the other girl. "You don't – I know what you're going to say, and please, just don't –"

"I love you too."

Quinn's breath catches, and her head whips around, eyes wide as she stares at Tina.

"What?" she breathes, hardly daring to believe she heard correctly.

Tina smiles, her eyes shining a little as she nods and gently pulls Quinn towards the bench so they can sit.

"I love you too. I – I have for a while; I just could never get the nerve to say it out loud."

A short, relieved laugh slips from Quinn, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks, and then Tina's arms are around her, pulling her close, holding her tight.

Quinn clings to her, her fingers gripping the fabric of Tina's coat as she buries her face in the other girl's neck, and when they pull apart, their lips touch without hesitation.

Quinn's fingers thread in the silky strands of Tina's hair, and if she thought kissing a girl would be different, it is, but it's also familiar.

Love is love, a kiss is still a kiss, and exceptions can come in the form of a beautiful girl with warm brown eyes, and soft brown hair.

The kiss breaks, and Quinn rests her forehead against Tina's for a moment, her hand sliding to the other girl's neck.

They pull apart, smiling broadly at each other as their hands fall between them, and then Tina's gaze flicks up.

A soft giggle slips from her as she raises a hand to the top of Quinn's head, brushing her fingers over her hair.

"Snowflakes," she explains at Quinn's confused expression, and it's only then that Quinn realizes it's snowing.

She laughs quietly, looking up at the snow swirling around in the glow from the light just beyond the bench, and then looks back at Tina.

Tina smiles, taking Quinn's hands in hers, and Quinn looks down at their interlocked fingers.

Part of this feels a little surreal, but at the same time, it's completely perfect, and her hands tighten around Tina's as she looks back up.

She leans forward for another kiss, this one softer that the first, and sighs happily when it breaks, whispering, "I love you," against Tina's mouth.

Tina's reply is another light kiss, and she squeezes Quinn's hands as they pull apart.

"Come back inside," she murmurs. "It's cold, and I still need my brilliant girlfriend to teach me the difference between Jung and Freud."

Quinn laughs softly and nods, and Tina grins as she pulls her to her feet.

Their hands only separate as long as it takes to both turn towards the building, and they walk up the stairs, fingers firmly linked once more.


End file.
